I have a lot of Christian and Catholic friends. Most of you know my heart and my thoughts on spiritual matters. So many of you have encouraged me to take refuge in the only place it can truly be found. These days my heart and mind have kissed goodbye and gone their separate ways. I want to take a moment to be transparent with you (even more than usual) and share my thoughts because I think there are a lot of us out there drowning in despair… and like me, they can’t find their way back to the surface.
I can’t get with God right now… because I’m really really REALLY fucking angry. I can’t get on my knees in front of holiness when my heart is an overflowing unforgiving wasteland. And the more the undeniable truth surrounding this farce of a pandemic comes to the surface, the angrier I get. I’m steeped in resentment.
Truly, at least a hundred times a day I think to myself- I’ll remember every single person that dismissed me, rolled their eyes at me, called me a conspiracy theorist and then decided to hide in their house and through willful ignorance systematically assisted our government in driving our country into the ground, laying waste to hundreds of thousands of American lives.
I’ll remember the tears of the father who buried his 12 year-old that committed suicide. I’ll remember my friend’s Dad who died because he didn’t go for those tests back in February and had a heart attack last month that could have been detected and prevented. I’ll remember the countless testimonies of those who saved every dime and worked their fingers to the bone and now their businesses and their savings are gone. The list is long, but I’ll stop there.
And I’ll remember everyday dying a little more on the inside and thinking when will my heart reach its limit before what’s inside of me forces the rest of me to lay down and never get back up.
This isn’t normal and it damn well should NEVER be our “new normal”!!! You look at the same stats I do, and for fuck knows what reason, you nod your damn heads up and down and say, “Yep, we should all stay home and wear a mask” Holy hell!
Well, you better be damn sure you’re right and it’s not based on just what you picked up on the nightly news! You better take your lazy ass on over to the computer and start looking up how viruses work and then look at past epidemics and pandemics death tolls and then you better start looking at the motives behind the pro’s and the anti’s.
No, it’s not enough to just ask your doctor or your uncle who has a PhD in this or that science! You don’t get to wash your hands of the mass destruction until you’ve exhausted the questions and the discrepancies. And you sure as hell don’t get the right to tell me I’m selfish and without decency for not wearing a mask or complying with anything that lacks common sense!
However, you do get to disagree with me AFTER you have put the same countless hours and energy into thoroughly understanding why there are two strongly opposing sides to this debacle, as I have. Because see here, I took it quite seriously when countless strangers told me I would be responsible for killing someone’s grandmom. I also took it quite seriously when a friend told me that my negligence would cost my son a mother.
So, I cleared my mind of original thoughts and I dug and dug and dug some more. And I sat back and observed… and I read medical literature and studies until my eyes blurred and I could practically write a thesis! And in my attempts to prove my instincts wrong, I only proved them more right. I won’t try to prove you wrong and I won’t insist you ARE wrong… I’ll ask you to dig deep, look further than your TV screen and prove to YOURSELF that you aren’t wrong because until that’s done no one gets to shake their head at anyone else! And then I suppose it’s on me whether or not I can forgive you if you don’t.
This guest post comes from Maggie Montgomery, a wife, mother, Patriot, and advocate for vaccine choice and medical freedom for nearly two decades. Like-minded Patriots can follow her HERE